We’ve all got them. Those trends that the moment you see them make you think ‘eurgh’. But often they linger as season turns into season and you see more and more people wear them making you question whether you were the one with the wrong idea after all. Here are those outfits and accessories that I just wish would go away forever!
Big chunky bangles
Yeah, I know they look great if you’re wearing a sleek shift dress, and they can bring a great pop of colour if you need it but who has ever worn a chunky bangle and thought how practical it is? Ever tried typing with one without one arm being suspended in the air above the other? Or carried shopping bags only for them to get stuck on your wrist the minute you look for your house keys? Then there’s the constant clonking every time you go to pick up a drink from bar tables on a night out. Nah, you can have your big chunky bangles. Leave the Tiffany to me (I wish)!
Frilly Ankle Socks
These girly socks look super-cute on the little girls at my nephew’s nursery, but on a fully grown woman, usually as part of a sandals over sock combo for the ultimate ‘what were you thinking’ effect these just look wrong. Sometimes the girly effect is increased by adding cute prints such as unicorns and bunnies which makes anyone wearing these socks just a little bit more tragic. Please, please, please let this disastrous trend end!
Another thing that’s really suited to kids rather than full-grown adults are dungarees, which are the stuff of nightmares for me. They don’t suit anyone with the slightest hint of a podge (so the national average sized woman is out), make an hourglass shape look like a box, and I don’t even want to think about the cubicle limbo I’d have to do in public loos to avoid getting them on the grimy floor. A pass from me.
Speaking of things that are impractical to wear should you need the loo, step up the jumpsuit which requires a virtually full strip-down just to go for a wee. Which, undoubtedly with shopping bags in toe, is just a big no-no for me. The other issue with jumpsuits is the odd fit that almost everyone gets from them. Extra fabric here and there and too tight in the crotch for all but the skinniest of supermodels, which begs the question why we bother with them in the first place.
Are you a fairy princess? Are you at a festival? If the answer to these questions is no, then why on earth are you wearing a circle of flowers around your head? I loved this look when it came in and thought that it would be just right for Glastonbury, and that’s where the trend stayed for me because the thought of walking around the street like someone from a commune filled me with dread.
There are a select few in the world that look excellent in padded jackets. I call these the chosen ones; tall and willowy people who would look good in a plastic sack. Which is a bit what the padded jacket reminds me of, thanks to its shiny polyester fabric. I fall into the other category of people, those who are normal amongst us and look a little bit like Stay Puft from the Ghostbusters every time I put one of these on as they transform me into a short, dumpy round human being that looks like she’s been packed ready for shipping from Amazon. Not a look I enjoy channelling.